I have a neighbor of many years, who has a tendency to insult me, but I do not think he realizes it. I will explain to you brothers and sisters what I mean in a minute. However, before I do, I will like to publicly confess that I allowed my neighbor’s views to anger me and that I reacted in anger and was wrong in doing so. I let my Lord Jesus down, and I am ashamed of what I did.
You see, it turns out that many of our conversations have revolved around black people, and about how black people have a litany of issues. He feels that black people and other minorities are under performers (for lack of a better word) and that many of the laws that we have in place that are to protect against discrimination are not needed. He feels that there is no discrimination in this country, and that essentially there is no need to complain.
Usually, I try to redirect him and gently try to help him walk on the others person’s shoes. Normally I ignore him and attribute his comments to ignorance and blindness of heart, and I get on with my day. However, today he would not redirect. He was more forceful than ever, and I was obviously less tolerant. I was in no mood to hear the “we do not need affirmative action” speech. I was in no mood to hear that blacks, Hispanics and Indians get into schools unjustly, and that they are not qualified to begin with.
So it came to a point when I was feed up. I was like, “the people you are bad talking is me!” I am one of those Hispanics that you wrongly feel are not integrated into society. I am one of those blacks (for in case he did not notice, I have black skin) that you feel are so messed up that every wrong in society is their fault. I had to say enough, but he would not let me. He pushed back and I pushed back even harder. I raised my voice and he told me to lower my voice that I was talking too loud. I then raised my voice louder and called him a racist to his face. I told him that racism is a sin, and it is. However, so is anger! I was wrong also, even more so than he.
How could I have let him get to me and set such a bad example for Christ.
Jesus, my Lord, I have let you down. I should have put you first, even before my own feelings. Please forgive me Lord, please forgive me. Brothers and sisters pray for me.